Let’s talk about the frustration of life seeming like it’s out to get you. The song "In the end" by Linkin’ Park is on constant replay in my head. I do feel like I try so hard and I get somewhere yknow but then in the end it never really actually matters😅😅, because it’s like I’m being taunted. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve started my journey to become mentally stable, to better myself and life just cuts me off! Now I’m wondering, what’s the point of even trying anymore?! I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong, but it never seems to work out (although sometimes it’s because I’m a huge coward😅😅).
I’ve gone through therapy with 3 different professionals, I’ve been on medication, I’ve isolated myself from everyone: no relationships, no friendships, no negativity, I’ve tried religion but somehow I always end up right back where I started; suicide. For some reason there’s ALWAYS this numbing, overwhelming pain inside me that I just can’t seem to shake no matter how hard I try, and that I would rather be dead than continue to experience.
I’ve never understood the concept of working without an end goal in mind, and nothing to achieve so, I went to bed last night with the soul purpose of giving up, but I got up this morning with a new purpose. I don’t know how long it will last but as NF rightfully said, there are others just like us and as long as we bond together and help each other out, we all can make it and become our better selves regardless of what life throws at us, regardless of whatever mental illnesses we may have. Let’s not only normalize mental illness, let’s overcome it.
Listen to NF- "just like you":
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